For the last four years I’ve spent Christmas Day with my girlfriend Jess and her family. And it’s soooo weird to me.

You see, I’m an only child. And I was raised by a single mom. …and, to an extent, my grandparents.

For a while, my mom and I actually lived with grandparents and my two great grandmothers. So, as a wee pup, I was the only kid at our family’s holiday celebrations. If I can be cynical, Christmas was like a big tease to me. There was always this HUGE buildup. Most of the presents under the tree were toys for me. — and we were one of those families who opened all the presents on Christmas Eve. After I the manic high of shredded all the wrapping paper, and I surveyed my generous bounty, a sobering reality set in.

… it was over.

Over a month of pent-up anticipation was deflated in 20 minutes. And it wasn’t even Christmas yet.

I think we can all agree that the Holiday season is totally different for kids than for adults. Sure, adults get cool stuff, but kids… kids get toys! — and toys are meant to be played with. And I don’t care how well intentioned an adult is, there’s nothing like playing with other kids.

But I was surrounded by adults — my mom being the second youngest person in the house.

Don’t get me wrong, for the most part, I love being an only child. But Christmas Time for me was a bit… unsatisfying. boring.

…and lonely.

Well, let me tell you, there’s nothing boring about Christmas with my girlfriend Jess’s family.

*Jess in her Christmas robe.*

She’s a part of a big, tight-knit, Baltimore family. –well, two, really. her dad’s (above) and her mom’s (below). The whole day is festive. The kids are playing! the adults are talking (and drinking) and everyone’s eating too many cookies.

ha! My goal this year was to not slip into a food coma.

I’m not saying I didn’t, but it wasn’t as bad as years past.

–thanks to the cheese plate!

Don’t get me wrong. I had a pretty good childhood and I wouldn’t change my Christmases for anything. Our pasts shape who we are. And I really like who I’ve become. My mom did a great job. I miss being around her on the Holidays.

Christmas with my Mom and Grandmommy (Grandaddy and my two great grandmothers have since passed) are familiar, simple, and low-key. My grandparents anniversary is Christmas Eve, so after he passed, my grandmother wanted to shake things up. One year we went to Hawaii! But most years we eat at one of the few open restaurants and watch movies. Christmas night ends quietly…

In contrast, I’m exhausted by the end of Christmas with Jess. — in part from too many cookies and cake.

*Decker, playing with his cousin Casey under a piano.*

This big family life is a world I’m fascinated by and I love exploring in pictures.

Even after four years, I still feel like an outsider who’s been let in. It’s wonderful!

– and super interesting.

This is from December, 2008. Jess drew the heart, and our upstairs neighbor’s dog, Josh, was looking to make some yellow snow.

I just got my new full-frame D700 and I was making as many night photos as possible. The drawback — which doesn’t really bother me in this image — is that all my wide angle lenses were made for DX camera bodies. I shot this with a 17-55mm and that’s why there’s that huge black vignette. I could crop it out — and I played around with that idea — but it felt wrong getting that tight.

I try to bring my camera with me when I’m not shooting. You never know when quirky little things like this will present themselves.

Jess ambushes me with a snowball on the Boardwalk. Awesome!

Jess really wants me to unlock the door. hehehe. Funny story… The snow was covering up the median, separating the parking 28th Street Plaza’s parking spaces from Coastal highway. In my attempt to park, I jumped the median.

his photo makes me laugh. I like how Elvis looks like he’s staring at me. Jess ordered steamed shrimp, which she loved. I had a subpar greek salad. I guess Ocean City is a place to get good seafood, not necessarily vegetarian cuisine — which Coins had none of. At this point we haven’t found a place to sleep. Winging it was part of our plan for the weekend. if the weather was better, I was planning to pit hotels against each other, seeing who was willing to give us the better deal for our business. But as it turned out, we really just needed a place to park and sleep.

Jess made this photo. She’s pretty good, huh? We got stuck in the snow a few times over the weekend. Parking lots were particularly aggravating to get in and out of. I was kicking snow away from my car’s tires. Gotta love snow boots.

Jess leads the charge to our hotel suite at the Princess Royale.

Once we opened the curtains, they stayed open. We also cranked the heat, a luxury we rarely let ourselves indulge in at home.

I love how delicate this image is. The still, almost frozen plastic chairs, practically submitting to the weather while the curtain gently sweeps on Jess’s leg.

Jess’s silhouette shot through the curtain.

I LOVE the infinity effect in mirrors. This was shot in our bathroom.

Jess, reflected in the room’s mirror, checks her e-mail during a Hallmark movie she watched on the room’s flat screen TV.

Jess was in and out of a sleep in the morning. I got a little creative with this shot, juxtaposing her reflection in the window with the snow covered beach dunes.

Dough Rollers was one of the only places open for breakfast. They also did a pretty good job clearing out their parking lot. So, they were awarded with business. I realize the local chain is one of the more beloved Ocean City establishments, but for goodness sake, their coffee is horrible! The last time I ate there I remember thinking the same thing.

I’d be willing to bet the bird population far outnumbers the human population in Ocean City in January.

Jess is 27 today. Happy birthday gorgeous!

Jess. eating a snowball. making her cold. Monday, August 24, 2009.

Jess by a sunset in the kitchen at the Remington House.

If I was to give myself some professional New Years resolutions, this is one of them.

“Shooting the emotion” weighs heavier to viewers than cool, graphic images. Using rad light and a bad-ass compositions, don’t cut to the core. They’re just eye candy.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOOOOOVE eye candy. When I look over my work, I’m kinda predisposed to it. It’s easier for me to make.

My friend Monica Lopossay — three-time Pulitzer Prize nominee (and she’s only 33!) is waaaay more in tune to people’s emotions. Her photos make viewers feel something. Her most important work makes you “want to slit your wrists,” …her words.

Emotions are relatable. They transcend cultural norms.

They’re also iconic.

Sure, this photo is really just Jess upset that I’m busy taking her picture instead of unlocking the back gate. She’s cold and wants to get in the car. The truth in this photos is that the cold is making her more upset than I am.

But I’ve seen this face before. I’ve upset her. I’m sure anyone who’s been in a relationship has hurt their loved one before.

I don’t have the courage, or maybe I’m smart enough not, to pick up the camera during those moments.

But that’s kinda the point I’m making. I think it’s safe to assume everyone on this planet has been on the opposite end of this kind of stare.

It’s relatable. …and therefore, it’s powerful.

So, 2010! the year to shoot the emotion!

Who’s with me?

(Sunday, December 7, 2008)

Jess + Christmas Time = Jessmas. I’m so lame.

Jess and I stayed at the Ascot Motel in Atlantic City a month ago.

Dooter and Ashley cuddle up while William, Catrina, Jess, and Phil make their way to the Ocean off the Atlantic City boardwalk Saturday, November 28, 2009. Jess wanted to touch the Ocean.

A couple walked past this fashion shoot and the guy didn’t see William in the tree until he started moving. He was like,”I only saw teeth!”

You guys have heard of a headdress, right?  Well, William is fashioning a headskirt at H&M.

see the American Flag light?

William abandoned his lewd gestures after realizing there was a tiny child hiding behind the cardboard cutout.

see Jess in the sunglasses reflection? …clever.

In the secret bathroom, behind the video games, at the Arcade where, because of my skeeball skills, I won a jackknife comb.

I always wanted one of those. I’ve decided it’s ONLY for my beard. …which William, seen below, trimmed. He and his roommate, both dancers, were worried the cleaning lady was going to mistake it for pubic hair. …creepy clumps of course pubic hair.

from the best store in the world!

best knock off perfume name ever.

Jess is such a good sport.

Sunday, December 23, 2007.  Jess lit by a sunset in the kitchen at our house on Remington.